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Wed, Sep. 13th, 2006, 12:00 pm

First off, THANK YOU! I was trying to find a group, and most of the groups I found were supporting girls in eating disorders by giving them tips to stay that way. Like "sexy anorexics" and stupid shit like that. That should be illigal.

My name is Erin, 21 years old, recently engaged. I have been anorexic for 8 years. It started when I was in 8th grade. For work I travel all over the country. When I was in Colorado a couple months ago I was put in the hospitol for a pelvic infection. They sent the nutritionist to talk to me. All she said was "I saw your hight and weight chart and thought you sounded awful tiny I just wanted to check on you." I imideiatly went on the devinsive because it was MY secret and she couldnt have it. I was also scared they would keep me there longer and I had to leave Colorado soon. Im scared to recover because that means putting on weight.

They sent my hospitol records to my mothers house where I am staying for a few months. I flipped through them and saw that they had diagnosed me as anorexic. I cried my brains out. I had known for years but had never been medicaly diagnosed. It seemed like as long as a doctor never told me I was there was a chance I was ok and didnt have it. Like maybe I had just been overreacting.

I also just cant belive that they could diagnose me and never tell me and let me walk out the door untreated. I had help right there and I didnt take it. So Im pretty pissed at myself.

Iv decided no one can help me I have to fix this myself. My first step was to find a group who would understand. I have no friends who are anorexic. I have one bulimic friend but we seemed to just encourage each other to do harmful things. My second step is to make a friends only post on my LJ and finally admit my 8 year secret to my friends. I cant be in denial anymore.

So thank you for this community. I hope I get the support I need and give as much back.